


Conversation Piece

by KitEmrys



Series: Songwriters - Remus [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: David Bowie - Freeform, Feels, M/M, Songfic, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitEmrys/pseuds/KitEmrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chance discovery leads Harry and Sirius to finding out a bit about Remus' past during his post Halloween '81 life and his connection to Sirius' lifetime idol David Bowie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversation Piece

**Author's Note:**

> David Bowie's death has devastated me. I have been a great admirer of him since I was little, and he was my muse for many pieces. This piece I actually started writing years ago, and figured it was time to finish it up. I feel very much that this song fits Remus, as it fits me so perfectly, and he and I are the same person. It of course belongs to David Bowie, but you can listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nrMUBWdpTs 
> 
> The characters, of course, belong to the great JK. Thanks for reading, and any constructive criticism is appreciated.

It was about a week after Harry and Sirius had caught Remus singing. Harry now watched Sirius and Remus’ interactions closer, seeing now what he’d missed before. The lingering looks, the pain and longing when the other turned away, the casual, yet tentative, touches. He could definitely tell now that they were in love. And now he noticed the bright glint in Sirius’ eye when he looked at his old friend. The glint of hope.

Remus had just brought over the last of his things from his old flat. Since he was now living at Grimmauld Place he had no need of his old place, but was able to sell it for some desperately needed money. Boxes upon boxes of books laid stacked up in the dreary living room, waiting to be unpacked. The three men worked steadily throughout the day, clearing out box after box, turning one of the old, unused rooms as a new library for all of Remus’ books and other things that wouldn’t fit into his new bedroom. Sirius seemed almost upset when Remus picked out a bedroom for himself. Remus gave him an odd look, but said nothing. Harry, however, gave Sirius a knowing glance and a smirk, only getting a glare in return.

The day passed slowly, but pleasurably, the three men talking comfortably with each other as they worked, telling jokes and sharing stories. Remus was in the middle of telling Harry a particularly humorous story involving his father, dress robes, and the moving staircases, when Sirius gasped out loud.

“And with a great rip, he was standing before Lily wearing only…. Pads? What is it? What’s wrong?” Remus immediately became concerned, his attention snapping to Sirius without a thought. Sirius held a stack of colorful LP’s in his hands and started flipping through them with interest, turning each one over to read the back. He sat down on the floor heavily, his eyes never leaving the LP’s.

“Moony,” he whispered, almost reverently. “These are your songs.” Remus looked shocked.

“How could you possibly know that?” Remus was bewildered.

“Remus!” Sirius urged. “These are your songs!”

“Yes, I know, but…”

“Sung by DAVID BOWIE!” Sirius was practically gaping, shaking the LP for emphasis. His eyes were bright and wild, his free hand running through his hair, tousling his long, black hair. 

“Yes, Sirius, I know, but how did you know they were my songs? How do you even know I have songs?” Remus sat down in an armchair, reeling from this new discovery. Harry stood as a silent witness, wondering who on earth David Bowie was, and why he produced such an odd reaction from his godfather.

Sirius stared at Remus as though he were made of stardust, nearly breathless with awe. “I hear you, Moony,” he whispered. “Every time you play, I hear you. How could I not?” Remus looked stunned. A light blush started to form on his cheeks. Sirius shook the LP’s at him again. “How, Moony? How did David Bowie get your music?” 

Remus sighed and leaned back in the chair. He looked down at his hands as though ashamed. Harry saw him swallow hard, as though it were difficult to even speak. “After...everything, I could barely hold down a job. I started performing in Muggle bars for extra cash. It was always very casual schedules so I could be off for the moon, and I made enough money to get by. One night I was at this little hole in the wall place, and at the end of my set, when I was getting ready to go, he came up to me. Held his hand out and introduced himself to me as though I had no idea who he was and hadn’t gone to his concert that one summer when we all sneaked out and got all glammed up.” He smiled softly at the memory. Harry saw Sirius choke out a little half-laugh and smile, eyes soft with love as they stared at the bowed head of his friend. “He said he liked my stuff and asked if I wanted to collaborate with him. I told him I wasn’t one for performing, but I loved to write music. We met up a few times and he bought a few of my songs. It felt nice to have my work appreciated and heard by people without them having to suffer through my terrible attempts at singing.”

Sirius looked at him like he was crazy. “Moony, what are you talking about? You’re amazing! Bowie himself thought so!” Remus laughed a little to himself. “I want to hear one,” Sirius declared. Remus looked confused. “One of the songs he bought. I want to hear. But I want to hear you sing it.”

Remus looked embarrassed and confused. “But why would you want to hear me? You love Bowie’s voice.”

Sirius stared him straight in the eye. “Not as much as I love yours.” Remus swallowed hard again, the blush deepening on his cheeks, making him look years younger. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment. Harry thought for a moment that Remus would refuse. Sirius’ eyes seemed to dare him to try and say no. Remus searched his gaze for a moment longer, trying to figure out the peculiarities of his friend, before finally silently holding out a hand for the LP’s. He quickly flipped through and selected one. He looked back at Sirius again, still puzzled, then shook his head a bit, giving up. He pulled the record from its sleeve and concentrated hard on it, then swished his wand through the air over it, muttering softly to himself in Latin. He rolled the tip of the wand up as though pulling the music from the depths of the grooves, and a swirl of silver-blue came drifting out, curling through the air and making its way to an old turntable lying in the corner. A soft, plodding beat drifted out. After a second or two, Remus’ husky voice rang out.

“I took this walk to ease my mind. To find out what's gnawing at me.” He turned at stared out the window at the rain soaked streets. Sirius and Harry watched his reflection in the window. Soft strings played in the background lending a haunting quality to the music.

“You wouldn't think to look at me, that I've spent a lot of time in education. It all seems so long ago.” He looked self-consciously at his hands. His eyes were full of loneliness and his voice world weary. “I'm a thinker, not a talker. I've no-one to talk to, anyway.” He closed his eyes as though in pain. Sirius’ face was a study in agony.

“I can't see the road for the rain in my eyes. Ahhh …” He crooned a sad sigh. “I live above the grocer’s store, owned by an Austrian. He often calls me down to eat. And he jokes about his broken English, tries to be a friend to me. But for all my years of reading conversation, I stand without a word to say.” Remus’ eyes filled with tears, and his voice sounded devastated, but he straightened up and stared straight out through the window. ”I can't see the bridge, for the rain in my eyes. Ahhh…”

“And the world is full of life. Full of folk who don't know me. And they walk in two’s or three’s or more. While the light that shines above the grocer's store, investigates my face so rudely.” The moonlight glinted off the scars running down his face. “And my essays lying scattered on the floor, fulfill their needs just by being there. And my hands shake, my head hurts, my voice sticks inside my throat. I'm invisible and dumb, and no-one will recall me.” His voice nearly shook with unshed tears and his hands trembled as he held them up slightly. “And I can't see the water, through the tears in my eyes.” He blinked slightly and tears rolled down his cheeks. The music slowly tapered off and left Sirius and Harry standing there in silence, witness to the baring of his soul.

Harry glanced over at Sirius, and saw he looked almost frozen, tears sliding down his cheeks. After a moment he breathed in sharply and wiped his face off, then slowly, as though approaching a wounded animal, made his way towards the window. Remus remained staring out, tears pouring down his face. He glanced up and saw Sirius’ reflection in the window as he approached and gently laid a hand on Remus’ shoulder. Remus’ eyes fluttered shut and he sighed shakily, then relaxed backwards, letting his oldest friend support him and hold him while he worked his way through the demons of his past. Harry slowly edged his way out of the room, feeling very much the intruder on this private scene. He made his way down the hall, secure in the knowledge that this would at least bring them a bit closer, and maybe reveal some of the feelings that had been kept buried for so long.


End file.
